Distracted

Sunday mornings are a breath of fresh air before I enter my week and today was no different, except... I heard nothing that was taught during service. I tried to focus but there were much more prominent items on my mind. Such as...

Where will Briggs sleep? What is he doing now? Where are we going to get 12k to go get him? When will we go get him? What is work going to say about extended vacation time? What if I sold EVERYTHING and lived there for a month? I wonder what we'll have for lunch? Is it too early to buy him a motorcycle? Should we start looking at houses? How will our office mix with a baby room? And on and on and on.

So, needles to say, the least of my worries lately are changing diapers and my gag reflex in response to regurgitated baby food.

Bring on Briggs.

Relax.

Relaxing isn't my greatest quality. But today, with some effort, I planned to relax. We had to turn down multiple family invitations, which we don't like to do, but I knew I would need a day to rest after the last two weeks.

Easter is special. It signifies more than Christmas and still falls in second place every year. And even more interesting, we celebrate the death and life of Christ with eggs and rabbits.

Our day started with an early morning hike in Red Rock Open Space with friends.
We rushed home for a quick shower and off to church. There is something electric about Easter church. But Becky and I's highlight was when the pastor said "If Heaven is an eternal church service that sounds more like Hell." Couldn't agree more.

After the traditional "Sunday Taco Bell for Lunch" we came home for some rest and preparation for our next adventure.

The afternoon was set aside for Becky's maiden voyage on her new bicycle. We rode towards downtown looking for a delicious pass time. Success.
Today was much needed.

Flawed.

This morning I had some good conversation with Douglas while lifting. I came home feeling compelled to record my afterthoughts.

The structure of the Church in America has some flaws, as expected. It is not my job to harvest those flaws as failures, but to expose them as opportunities to improve effectiveness. This week in our Sunday morning community group we were taught about Worship. Worship in the context of a Sunday morning service. We briefly discussed how complacent we have become about worshiping. I wonder if we are complacent about worship because we really have nothing to worship God for. We sit and listen to a pastor who "has it all together" and is "radical" if he admits that he "struggles every so often". And as we sit, we are watching the Lebron James, the Tiger Woods, the Shaun White or the Lady Gaga of religion. The pedestal or stage creates a noteworthy performance that "we" should all strive to become. Stories abound about front row Av's tickets, beautiful and successful children, lunch with the President, seemingly sinless lifestyle, great movie clips in which he "only watched the movie for illustration purposes" and so on. My life is good and so yours shall be too. But the truth is - all of our lives suck. Shitty things happen to all of us and we make shitty choices. The only thing that makes our life less shitty is God. If we stopped trying to be "perfect" and realized we sin - daily - all of us - we may have something to worship God for. Because once your life is perfect in the eyes of others you have no need for a savior. A perfect house. Pefect job. Perfect children. Perfect choices. Perfect marriage. We strive for this but we fall short and the equalizer is faith in something bigger and better than a sports figure, a musical artist or a pastor. If I am worshiping God daily, the need for "consistent and regular" attendance in "America's Sunday Morning Worship System" is not vital but supplemental and necessary. My worship doesn't happen only on Sunday mornings and my "Corporate Worship" doesn't only happen at church. The problem with jumping into my theory is that it is a recipe for disorganization and disunity, but could that same problem create an attentiveness to building an Acts 2:42 community? I, just like pastors, teachers, church go-ers, and non-church go-ers, are trying to figure it out. Because...

...pretending makes me uncomfortable and in turn makes others uncomfortable.

Become you.

This week I have had a few bright lights shine in my eyes and awake my soul. On Wednesday nights I have the privilege of engaging in conversation with 7 guys ranging from 9th grade to 12th grade. I am supposed to be imparting my 29 years of wisdom upon these young impressionable minds, but more often than not they change the way I think. This last week we were conversing about who our role model or idols should be. One guy was struggling with the issue of who a good religious role model would be. This can be a problem because in our culture, basketball players look up to Lebron James, snowboarders look up to Shawn White, and young girls copy the latest fashion styles of Lady Gaga. In our Christian culture, Christians idolize pastors and pastors idolize other pastors. This is where the problems begin.

Because, more often than not...

Pastors will fail you. Your wife will fail you. Your husband will fail you. Art will fail you. Safety will fail you. Financial security will fail you. You will fail if you put faith in "things" and "results".

I'm not the one to be terribly in your face about religion, faith or beliefs but if you live your life searching for happiness in "things" and "results" you will leave this world feeling empty and alone. The "things" we worship can either starve us or give us nourishment. My soul goes through those stages daily, if not hourly and my soul learns more and more through each transition.

Wisdom from others can unlock who you are, but the place I find wisdom is from the Bible. If you are able to remove all the preexisting conditions our culture has placed on it, and remove your own bias and knowledge to look deep within there might be a refreshing point of view awaiting. This is not a call to follow blindly but to experience something from a pure mindset.

Know that you can spend your life following a leader, sports figure, pastor, friend, art form, style or skill but the uniqueness of you will be lost. Think for YOURself, act based on YOUR thoughts, engage in YOUR life.

Become you.

Friends are the best.

This was one of my highlights for the week.

We sure wish the goofiness could happen in the same room. Next we are creating one act plays. If we're lucky there will be video.

Change

I have found comfort in knowing that my life will be completely different this time next year. My friends have helped me find this comfort. A simple question "What is the biggest change you experienced after having children." Most responses offered a devilish smile initiating a nervous giggle from myself. I know, I don't get it, haven't gotten it and have a while before I figure it out. Some swore they would never have mountains of toys around there child, some swore they would never buy a mini van, some never thought sleep would become such a treasure only found at the farthest end of the earth. Clearly children change you. I wonder how I changed, pushed, pissed-off, brought joy or otherwise evoked deep emotions in my parents?
I can't wait to be emotionally challenged, changed.

Rest

It doesn't come easy these days. Two more days and rest is here.

Hanging with two and a half of my best friends in the world.
Enjoying fun family events.
Most importantly - two days of no work.

Hopefully next year this time we will be returning from our trip to Ethiopia - enjoying a different type of rest.